Infectious

Yesterday was tormenting as usual. Until Claire came back to NJ. :D She was really high (as she said in her blog) and I think it was really infectious cause it lasted me till I went to sleep at night. But I think it took up my energy though, cause I slept earlier than usual! :P

She gave me a face mask and nail polish as my belated birthday present! Lol I don't know how exactly to use the mask cause the instructions are in korean... The GREEN nail polishes are so nice! :D I love both greens haha. Shall paint my toes lol cause school doesn't allow coloured nails.

The happiness that infected me even lasted me through CCA... Which is great. Cause I need it. :)

Scared

PW is proving to be very terrifying.

So, I submitted my idea for PI. It came back with 17 comments over 2 pages. It was too generic, too vague, and from the looks of some comments, it didn't make sense. Now I'm really afraid of what I'm doing and I don't know if I should continue with this idea, change the topic or think of an entirely new idea. :( I should email her (the teacher) and ask her right? But I'm too freaked out to even do that. I was feeling scared before opening the email too. Haven't felt this scared for a while. How? D:

I feel lost and hopeless.

And sad.

Man, it's been a long day
Stuck thinking 'bout it driving on the freeway
Wondering if I really tried everything I could
Not knowing if I should try a little harder

First verse of "Sad" by Maroon 5.

This is a nice song. It's simple and nice. It sorta describes my situation? Well my situation is a smaller scale of it I guess.

Breathed

I wouldn't say that I accomplished a lot during this holiday. It's a week long only after all.

I had guitar practice for 3 of the days. Didn't go for today's cause I'm in Malaysia. :P Hey, it's our holiday, why is the school always taking away the holidays? We have homework too please. :/

Still have Math left... Math is so hard harder than before... I don't know how to survive this year sigh. I hope I can pull through. I must pull through.

PW is scary. Cause I feel lost. Isn't it scary to feel lost and alone? That's exactly how it feels.

Despite having some worries left, I feel like this holiday wasn't SO bad, even though I didn't have much enjoyment... Maybe it's just the fact that I don't have to sit through lessons in school for a whole week. Lessons that I barely understand while everyone else seems to. Lessons that I desperately try not to fall asleep in.

So now our "break" is ending. Take a deep breath.

And go face term 2.

2013

2013.

New year.
New troubles.
New happiness.

New year.
Happy. :)

Drive-less

Slacking at home: reading books, watching tv, watching videos. :) Hardly any work at all. As usual, I'm feeling guilty, but barely doing anything about it. :P Yeah, it's the holidays, but it's not like I'm the smartest kid, so I think I need the revision. I did a timetable for myself, but at this rate, I don't think I'm going to be able to follow the timetable... :/ Oh well.

What's Left

Chinese 'O' level in less than a month... And now we have chinese lectures from 8am to 3pm almost everyday. Sigh. Most of the times our brains are just too drained to do anything.

But we only have these few days left. These few days left to the exam. These few days left of our days as 'secondary' school students. Next year, things would be so... Different. We can already anticipate it. I wonder if being able to anticipate it is a good or a bad thing... Oh wells either way we have to go through it.

We are doing so many things that have been said to have a certain 'result', like how taking chinese 'O' level will allow us to not study chinese anymore for 'A' levels, unless you choose it. But these are the results that we all want, the results that we desire. What if the tabooed result occurs? Life can be so unexpected. We can only prepare for things, but never know for sure if it would happen the way we want it to be.

Stationary

Sometimes it hurts to just wait. Because it never comes. But you can't bring yourself to do anything. Because it's wrong. Sometimes you can't even tell whether it's wrong. I can't.

Maybe I'm exaggerating things. Perhaps things are just that simple. Things are not going the way you wish it would be. It never does.


Right now I'm just watching... And hoping. As I have always been doing.

100th post! :)