Drawing Lines

Where do you draw your lines?

Everyone has their limits for different things. Your limits may not be my limits. If I know where your lines are, I won't cross it. So, if you already know where my lines are drawn, please don't cross them.

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Maybe I should rebuild the parts of my walls which I took down.

One

It's 2015.

I graduated last year. Came out of school physically unscathed, but mentally worn. Glad it's over.

Someone told me that everyone seems to be 'loners' now. As in many people's social lives have sort of died. They have few meetups with others and do their own things, by themselves. I admit that I expected people to be going out all day every day or something haha. Not myself though. I just thought others would. Hmm. I think everyone just wanted to catch up with doing all the things they've always wanted to do over the past year, like I do.

I haven't gotten bored of just doing my own things by myself. I don't get bored easily. But I still went to look for a part-time job, just to get some working experience cause I've never gotten any. And I did it quicker than I wanted to cause my parents were asking me to, which kinda surprised me. Just started work yesterday. Hope it'll be a good experience.

Enjoying my lone time doesn't mean that I don't want to meet my friends, though people may have gotten that idea. It's just that I'm a bit lazy to ask and organize and others seem to feel the same haha. Maybe that explains the general inactivity in social lives. Also if I do hang out with you someday you better hope that I wasn't having a bad day that day.

Well, life is definitely better now that there are no exams. I can do whatever I want to.

The Man In The Woods

Once upon a time, there was a man in the woods.

The man was carving wood. He carved too hard and too much; he started a fire.

The man started to panic. "Water! I need water!" He shouted. "Where's the water?" He asked the trees. The trees replied, "There is a river down south."

"No," the man replied. He walked up north. "But water is down south," the trees replied. The man stopped. "I need to think about it," the man said.

"Yes. You are right." The man walked down south and found a river. He took some water and extinguished the flames.

But by then some trees were already burnt.

Recuperate

Had my last guitar concert in NJ last night.

I screwed up all the songs, especially Canon in D with the octet. My facial expression obviously gave it all out, because I didn't try hiding it from the audience and I'm not very good at hiding anyway. I was so frustrated with myself and subsequently really sad about that performance and the concert, because it was the last. :'(

But I have to move on and I guess that was a good experience cause I never had a chance to perform in such a small group before.

And the people who came to support me either did not notice the mistakes or were really nice about it.

Those Who Don't Speak Well

Some people speak better than others, we all know that. This post is about people who find it hard to speak well.

These people find it harder to voice their opinions to others, especially to strangers or people they don't really know. So people often assume that they have nothing to say. Or in other words people assume that they agree with whatever's going on.

It's not to say that others making assumptions are wrong. It is easy for others to conclude that these people have no comments (and generally silence means consent), especially when their facial expressions or body languages show no sign of discontent.

In some situations, others discover (by some means) that these these people are actually against the idea, and so they push the blame to them. Of course it's not others' fault; 'others' didn't know about these people's views. But the way others push the blame onto these people highlights an issue that I think is present and neglected (possibly cause people who find it hard to speak well are the ones facing this, so the issue is rarely raised) in the world.

We all know that most people are born with the ability to speak. But not everyone is born with the ability to speak well and communicate their ideas effectively. It depends on the characters and personalities of people, and subsequently how they were brought up. But the main idea is that some people are not born with the ability to speak well, and for some people even years of training is not the key. Because the 'others' can speak well, it doesn't give 'others' the right or make it right for them to demean these people and claim that it's their own fault for getting what they didn't exactly agree with from the start. Others simply can't blame these people like they're supposed to be born good-speakers.

Sharing a similar experience as the people who find it hard to speak well are people who tend to give in to others' ideas too often even if they disagree. It's not that they find it hard to speak well, it's just that they are more tolerating and accepting.

You know what, I think it's safe to say that the blame-game shouldn't be played here.

For the people who find it hard to speak well, it would be good for them to train themselves. Sad to say, in this fast-paced, ever-growing society, communication is key and face-to-face communication is still the more effective way of communication. If speaking is too difficult, there are other means of presenting ideas, provided by the current advanced technology.

For others, some could try to be less aggressive when collating ideas and feedback from others and ensure that they let others know that they are open to any ideas (that is, if they REALLY are).

For the people who give in to others frequently, just give yourself an opportunity every now and then and give others your opinion (if it isn't a selfish one), because you deserve things happening in your way too.

Man I feel like a guide book writer lol. Don't know why but I felt like saying this hahaha.

Sore

One of my sensitive eyes is uncomfortable again sigh. Probaly from the lack of sleep..

Long and tiring day today. Lessons till 1130, then PE. Ran 2 rounds and did static omg. :( Crunches, leg raise and push ups. Damn tiring. Then the girls plus zhonglong played captian's ball.

Standing at hwa chong bus stop with the arrow board today passed faster, probably cause ei jia and I were just talking haha.

Had guitar after that. It's quite intensive now cause we have a concert in april. :/ We have cca tomorrow at 1045 too.

Just got home and bathed. Haha eating dinner now!

Beautiful But Sad

I helped out for school tours today! Too turns to hold a yellow arrow board at hwa chong bus stop as directors with ei jia lol. Got to know her better haha. It's not so bad haha. :)

Another day of sleeping earlier for me!

Holiday Hangover

I think I'm having a holiday hangover. School just reopened and it's the third day today. Everyday, I come home feeling super sleepy. Or I start feeling sleepy in school. This is quite bad... :/ Today I didn't even feel like doing my work, which is why I'm posting here lol. I hope that after a few more nights of sleeping earlier, I can be more ready for this crazy year of school.

Alright so I think I'm going to sleep soon. I really hope I'll recover from this hangover lol.

Not On Me

The jealous child
Still lives within you.
In the event of events
You are not included
You create your own wonderland
For you to be exclusive
For me to be jealous
Like you.
But it does not work
Not on me.

Random lol! It's okay if you don't understand haha.

Survivors

We survived this year!

At least I know of no one I know who is retaining... I hope none I know did.

1 year left in this school. Whether you're having a good or bad time in this school doesn't matter much any more, you're leaving.

Can't believe I passed everything. Hard work + luck I guess lol. Scared for next year cause this year was already so bad... And I signed up to be OGL next year too. Thought this chance couldn't be missed cause this year's experience was good. But I think it's quite a risk for me. Cause I'm super slow with studies. I seriously hope I can catch up with work next year. :/

Anyway, I'm REALLY GLAD that PW is ending. REALLY. Just a bit scared of OP, especially Q&A. 4 more days... It will all be over. All this shit will be gone. Can't wait!!

Alright, bye! :)

Nothing

Life after promos would have been much better without PW.

In reality, PW doesn't really matter much at all. Or so many people say. I guess it's just that everyone's getting stressed so it passes on to you... Oh wells. Just can't wait for 30 October 10am. The pain and suffering would be all over.

I can look forward to enjoying myself after PW before our restructured lectures begin. It just gets worse I guess, cause A levels is next year. :S

I wish they'll give us more breaks in between. My stamina sucks both literally and figuratively, if you get what I mean.

And yes nothing much is going on in my empty life except PW so I don't post much and can't post much.

Sad lifee. ;(

Catch Up

Woo I can't believe today's the last day of lessons in school this week! :D Tomorrow is National Day cum Hari Raya celebration. :) Means slack day.

Sadly, long weekend also means more work. Plus I needa catch up A LOT. Sigh I hope I can push through this! And there are around 3-4 tests next week. Which I haven't studied for. I'm actually quite behind those topics.. :( Oh man I just keep complaining about school on my blog(s) whenever I even post on them..

On a side note, I signed up for the intracollege doubles badminton competition with Yen Ling! :D Pretty excited about it actually. Nah, we're not going there to win it or what, just for fun. It'll be next Friday! And I was also 'persuaded' to join the basketball competition. O: Sigh I hope they really don't mind a useless player on court. I'm always too afraid to ATTACK but too lousy to defend. And my shots aren't very accurate cause I lack practice. :/ Wish I could do better. But all in all, I just wanna have fun. :P So who cares about winning. :)

Hope these little things will keep me alive with all the crazy school work and tests around me.

Last Minute

Went for Jessica's 21st birthday party today! Haven't seen her in a while.. The food and cake and cafe was nice haha. :D Talked to Brandon, Carene, Michelle and Vivianne while Jessica was tending to all the other guests. There were 2 other seniors (1 year older than Brandon and Jessica) from NJ talking to us too. They were a bit crazy so it was kinda funny haha.

After the party which ended at around 2pm, Brandon, Carene, Michelle and I went to "walk". Vivianne had left for GP tuition. We went to Ion Orchard to walk lol. Starbucks was promoting their new drink with white chocolate pudding so they were giving out small cups of them and we got some. :D It was nice. I just love frappes. :)

After Brandon and Michelle left, Carene and I went to Cineleisure and 313 to walk a bit more lol. We had dinner in Yoshinoya and just sat there and talked.

Okay so I'll be going to USS on Monday cause it's Youth Day! Argh still have work!! :( I still have some elearning left and 3 projects omgosh. :( Seems like tomorrow is a 'chiong day'. Even though I have one week's extension cause I performed for a concert for SISC, I still think it's better to try to finish off the work before school officially reopens.

JC1 life sucks, you know. I really don't like it. It seems that I'm having a worse time than anyone else too... What is gonna happen to me in this few months? ;(

Find A Way

Took so long figuring out how to use the new template designer yesterday.. So glad it all worked out! :D Had some troubles with it...

Holidays are finally here. :)

I don't know how to describe it, but it was a short yet long wait. Being busy throughout the semester made the months feel exceptionally short, yet in the midst of all the tedious work, it felt like time was dragging by. This holiday, I want to rest. I want to do all the things that I've always wanted to do when I had work and revision to do. But those work and revision were not enough, apparently. Even if they were, I'd still have to dedicate quite a lot of time for those things. SH1 is not a year to fool around. Sadly. Not that I really wanna fool around, I just want some time off, you know. It's too hectic. In a bad way.

Time is always running short. But now, I'm just glad that I can spend some time at home and not go to school.

Nailed It.

The good news first: We got distinction for SYF! :D Happy that it went okay and SYF is over. :) And JH got distinction too!

The bad news: Well, I tried the nail polish and since no one in my family has that experience, it looks like crap. OH MY. Gotta go get remover tomorrow before going to my junior's house for celebration!!

Change

Hello new phone! :) Just got my new phone yesterday.. Compared to my previous phone, it can support more features and is more advanced. :D

But I will miss my previous phone... :( It has been working quite well.


Hope I'll have fun with my new phone hahaha! :D

Infectious

Yesterday was tormenting as usual. Until Claire came back to NJ. :D She was really high (as she said in her blog) and I think it was really infectious cause it lasted me till I went to sleep at night. But I think it took up my energy though, cause I slept earlier than usual! :P

She gave me a face mask and nail polish as my belated birthday present! Lol I don't know how exactly to use the mask cause the instructions are in korean... The GREEN nail polishes are so nice! :D I love both greens haha. Shall paint my toes lol cause school doesn't allow coloured nails.

The happiness that infected me even lasted me through CCA... Which is great. Cause I need it. :)

Scared

PW is proving to be very terrifying.

So, I submitted my idea for PI. It came back with 17 comments over 2 pages. It was too generic, too vague, and from the looks of some comments, it didn't make sense. Now I'm really afraid of what I'm doing and I don't know if I should continue with this idea, change the topic or think of an entirely new idea. :( I should email her (the teacher) and ask her right? But I'm too freaked out to even do that. I was feeling scared before opening the email too. Haven't felt this scared for a while. How? D:

I feel lost and hopeless.

And sad.

Man, it's been a long day
Stuck thinking 'bout it driving on the freeway
Wondering if I really tried everything I could
Not knowing if I should try a little harder

First verse of "Sad" by Maroon 5.

This is a nice song. It's simple and nice. It sorta describes my situation? Well my situation is a smaller scale of it I guess.

Breathed

I wouldn't say that I accomplished a lot during this holiday. It's a week long only after all.

I had guitar practice for 3 of the days. Didn't go for today's cause I'm in Malaysia. :P Hey, it's our holiday, why is the school always taking away the holidays? We have homework too please. :/

Still have Math left... Math is so hard harder than before... I don't know how to survive this year sigh. I hope I can pull through. I must pull through.

PW is scary. Cause I feel lost. Isn't it scary to feel lost and alone? That's exactly how it feels.

Despite having some worries left, I feel like this holiday wasn't SO bad, even though I didn't have much enjoyment... Maybe it's just the fact that I don't have to sit through lessons in school for a whole week. Lessons that I barely understand while everyone else seems to. Lessons that I desperately try not to fall asleep in.

So now our "break" is ending. Take a deep breath.

And go face term 2.

2013

2013.

New year.
New troubles.
New happiness.

New year.
Happy. :)